Grades Don’t Prove Effort 

Through my years in public school I was never excited when I had to write an essay in class. I mostly wrote research papers and analytical essays. These essays really frustrated me based on the fact that I had to research and collect evidence to write. I never truly enjoyed what I was writing about, I just wrote what I thought the teacher would want to hear in order to get a good grade. The only time I was ever excited when writing was when I got to be creative with it. I specifically remember a time where I had to write a research paper for my history class and we had to spend a month working on it. During this time I researched and found quotes, data, and sources in to write the paper. After all the time and effort I put into it, I  was very disappointed when I received a lower grade than I would have liked. This was a very unenjoyable experience and definitely affected my view on writing now. 

This History paper was just one of many bad writing experiences I had where I put so much effort into a paper just to get a grade that did not show what I put into it. This is mainly the reason why I don’t like writing. I really dislike how most teachers just look at how your writing matched up with the prompt and guidelines they give you, they don’t look at the effort you put in.

I like to write when I can be creative and have freedom with what I write. For example in one of my english classes in highschool we had to write about anything we wanted as a sample college essay. For this essay there were no guidelines or prompt, it wasn’t graded for accuracy, it was graded on completion. This type of writing is what I enjoy. I wrote about something that made me happy, I talked about my family and what it was like going to the Cape Cod every summer with them to my grandparents house. I was excited for the teacher to read it without having to grade it based on a rubric because they could focus on my story and and learn more about me personally. 

Writing should not be graded, it should be a way to express yourself, not something that is used to prove your intelligence and understanding on a topic. It should not be restricted, I believe there would be many more people that would be fond of writing if I could do it freely and creatively. I would do a lot better as a writer and student  if I truly enjoyed what I was writing about and not writing for a teacher and a grade.

I have watched the movie “Dunes” multiple times and will watch it once more to understand the thought process of how this movie was made. “Dunes” was not widely cherished by many mostly do to Lynches poor choices as a director. The cast did not fit their roles or portray their characters well, partly due to the way they looked. I disliked how the thoughts of characters were heard by the viewers while the character is making an odd face to display that they are deep in thought. “Dunes” was meant to be more of a serious movie but I couldn’t help but find it somewhat as a comedy. The movie was a major disappointment and a failure due to the fact that it was incomprehensible. In the final cut of the movie it was very choppy given the poor editing choices. There were a lot of clips taken out of the movie in the final cut which made it not smooth at all in the final edits. Unbeknownst to many, “Dune” was the movie that put Lynch on that map in the filmmaking industry. Once the film reaches theaters it definitely recognized in the public eye for being a dreadful movie and awful depiction of the story it told. This film could have had multiple outcomes for Lynch, good or bad, but as we saw it was a negative one. Overall in the end Lynch stuck with it but in some ways it seemed as if he gave up. 

I chose to rewrite the second story in the style of the third story. The tone of the way I wrote this text is not as joking and sarcastic, it is more mature and serious. Originally the second text sounded like it could have been from a movie review or blog and the third text sounded like it was more from a newspaper or article, this is what I intimidated.

Notes on the movie I Am Not Your Negro

• Malcom was a racist
• White cop standing on an African women neck in Birmingham image 
• Wanted Kennedy to assort girl to school to show that the nation is on board but wouldn’t do it 
• Lorraine Hansberry died 
• What’s going to happen to this county 
• “Free only in battle, never free to rest, and he who finds no way to rest, cannot long survive the battle” Baldwin 
• Country doesn’t know what to do with the black population”
• The africans killed were to young to have done anything 
• In 40 years if there good he may be able to before president 
• 1955-1968 martin Luther king
• Medger 1963
• shot to death 
• Malcom 1965
• Got killed 

Early HEROS

• Went home to pay dues in NY
• Taken in by a white shcool teacher, gave him books, took her to plays and films and taught him 
• Never hated white people becuse of Bill Miller his teacher
• He saw heros as white 

WITNESSES

• Medger had him go with him to investigate a murder of a black man 

SELLING THE NEGRO 

• When a black and whiote man says “give me liberty or give me death, the black man will be the criminal and treated as one 
• Trapped in what we would like to be and who we are actually are 
• Different churches 
• Schools are different 
• Kind shot and dead 
• We can still do something that has not been done before, we dont need numbers we need pasion 
• Most peopek that say they care dont care, they care abiut there saftey and proffits 
• Police brutality- rodney king
• “Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nithing can bve changed until it is faced”

Today 

• Not the land of the free
• Its the home of teh brave 
• So many shootings 
• Hiostroy is the present 
• We are our history 
• The world was nervous white
• White is a metaphor for power 

Essay Outline

Introduction paragraph:

• Introduce movie: I am not Your Negro Is an insperational documentary created by Raoul Peck. In 1979 James Baldwin started writing a book about Race in American society through the story of three of his friends that were murdered. Sadly Baldwin passed away with only 30 pages finished. Years later Raoul decided to finish Baldwins story with his own words from old materials from baldwin. 
• Identify argument the movie is making: This documentary shows that Baldwin wanted everyone to be aware of the racial inequality in America. While switching between inequality in 1900s to now it shows that we as America still have a lot of work to do and not much has changed 

Body paragraph 1:

• Introduce 1st part of argument: in the mid to late 1900s inequality and racism was a big issue. The 1950s and 60s was the time of the civil rights movement and a time where this issue was at its peak. Baldwin wanted America to understand how greatly affected this country was by all the unfairness with race. There were many points shared in this film that …… Baldwin shared the story of three of his friends deaths that were big turning points for America. These three friends were civil rights activists and were all killed because the stood up for what they believed in. These friends were Medgar Evers, Malcom x, and Martin Luther King jr. these 3 leaders died due to forces that they were trying to change. Kings death was the last out of these three men and it was the death that brought the anger out of the African American people. This anger that was fueled by the deaths of leaders caused people to finally stand up and fight for their rights. 
• Concluding sentence: Most of these issues that people think are resolved by now are still a problem in America today. 

Body paragraph 2:

• Introduce 2nd part of argument: To this day there are still many problems with race and inequality in America. Many of these issues are ones that were never fully resolved over the years. People are always being treated differently depending on their race, this is something that will sadly take many more years to change. Baldwin states that “this is not the land of the free”. This statement sounds very true in society right now. If we were in a truly free country, there would be no mention of racial inequality. Many African American citizens are still being victims of police brutality. There are too many stories of African Americans being shot or beaten by police because they were thought to be “dangerous”, or a “threat”. It’s not only in race that there are issues, a lot pf people in America are messed up. There has been way too many shootings in this country and they don’t seem to be getting any better, just worse. Hopefully all of these problems get resolved in the future, but everyone needs to stand up and fight. 
• Introduce evidence:
• Evidence:
• Analysis of evidence:
• Concluding sentence:

Conclusion:

• Restate claim:
• Concluding sentence:

First draft

Injustice Needs to Change 

I Am Not Your Negro is an inspirational documentary created by Raoul Peck. In 1979 James Baldwin started writing a book about race in American society through the story of three of his friends that were assassinated. Sadly Baldwin passed away with only 30 pages finished. Years later Raoul decided to finish Baldwin’s story with old materials from Baldwin and it was narrated by Samuel L Jackson. This documentary shows that Baldwin wanted everyone to be aware of the racial inequality in America. While switching between inequality in the 1900s to now it suggests that America still has a lot to change before we are truly an equal and free country. 

In the mid, to late 1900s inequality and racism was a big issue. The 1950s and 60s were the times of the civil rights movement and a time where this issue was at its peak. Baldwin wanted America to understand how greatly affected this country was by all the unfairness with race. Baldwin shared the story of three of his friend’s deaths that were big turning points for America. These three friends were civil rights activists and were all killed because they stood up for what they believed in. These people were Medgar Evins, Malcolm X, and Martin Luther King jr. All three leaders died due to forces that they were trying to change. King’s death was the last out of these three men and it was the death that brought the anger out of the African American people. The anger that was fueled by the deaths of leaders caused people to finally stand up and fight for their rights. During the Civil Rights movement, there was a great deal of violence. One of the victims of this violence was Rodney King. Rodney was brutally beaten by police officers on the side of the road after being pulled over. This beating was unjust and uncalled for. Rodney did nothing to deserve this. Most of these issues that people think are resolved by now are still a problem in America today. 

To this day there are still many problems with race and inequality in America. Many of these issues are ones that were never fully resolved over the years. People are always being treated differently depending on their race, this is something that will sadly take many more years to change. Baldwin states that “this is not the land of the free”. This statement sounds very true in society right now. If we were in a truly free country, there would be no mention of racial inequality. Many African American citizens are still being victims of police brutality. There are too many stories of African Americans being shot or beaten by police because they were thought to be “dangerous”, or a “threat”. The film refers to Michel Brown who was a 28-year-old African American man that was shot by a white police officer in Ferguson, Missouri. This death brought back that anger in African Americans similarly to MLKs death. Many citizens protested and fraught to get justice for Brown’s death. It’s not only in race that there are issues, there are so many horrific events that happen in America that are big problems. In recent years there have been many mass shootings and this is another terrible issue that needs to stop. This is an issue that affects all races, it is something that everyone can stand together to stop. It shouldn’t even matter what race those awful issues effect, Every citizen should fight for every issue that affects any of their fellow citizens. 

I believe everyone should listen to Baldwin and hear his views on the world. These views and the problems talked about are the ones that affect everyone and America as a whole. Baldwin was alive during the Civil Rights movement and when many racial issues were at their worst. His word is very reliable and should make us want to listen to his experiences and feel his emotion through the stories. We need to stand up for the problems in our country. These issues are the only ones that we can fix. People aren’t going to fight our battles for us, we have to win them and make a change. 

Second Draft

“This is not the land of the free”

I Am Not Your Negro is an inspirational documentary created by Raoul Peck. In 1979 James Baldwin started writing a book about race in American society through the story of three of his friends that were assassinated. Sadly Baldwin passed away with only 30 pages finished. Years later Raoul decided to finish Baldwin’s story with old materials from Baldwin and it was narrated by Samuel L Jackson. This documentary shows that Baldwin wanted everyone to be aware of the racial inequality in America and that it never truly went away.  While switching between inequality in the 1900s to now it suggests that America still has a lot to change before we are truly an equal and free country. 

In the mid, to late 1900s inequality and racism was a big issue. The 1950s and 60s were the times of the civil rights movement and a time where this issue was at its peak. Baldwin wanted America to understand how greatly affected this country was by all the unfairness with race. In the film, Baldwin shared the story of three of his friend’s deaths that were big turning points for America. These three friends were civil rights activists and were all killed because they stood up for what they believed in. These people were Medgar Evins, Malcolm X, and Martin Luther King jr. All three leaders died due to forces that they were trying to change. By mentioning the deaths of all three actavists it is scary for people to see how being picked off one by one for standing up for their rights. King’s death was the last out of these three men and it was the death that brought the anger out of the African American people. The anger that was fueled by the deaths of leaders caused people to finally stand up and fight for their rights. This film showed the protests that went on and you could see the anger in the citizens. During the Civil Rights movement, there was a great deal of violence. One of the victims of this violence was mentioned in the documentary, this was Rodney King. Rodney was brutally beaten by police officers on the side of the road after being pulled over for driving under the influence. In the clip that was shown you can see that Rodney was helpless and had no chance against the multiple police hurting him.  This beating was unjust and uncalled for, Rodney did nothing to deserve this harsh punishment. I believe that Raul Peck chose to show the footage of Rodney getting beat up to make viewers emotional and angry. By making the viewers feel this way, Baldwings argument will become stronger and more convincing. Most of these issues that people think are resolved by now are still a problem in America today. 

To this day there are still many problems with race and inequality in America. Many of these issues are ones that were never fully resolved over the years.  Raul Peck takes Baldwin’s thoughts and arguments from the time when he was alive and related it to today’s showing the problems that sill occur. People are always being treated differently depending on their race, this is something that will sadly take many more years to change. In I Am Not Your Negro it shows a clip of Baldwin stating that “this is not the land of the free”. This statement sounds very true in society right now. If we were in a truly free country, there would be no mention of racial inequality. Many African American citizens are still being victims of police brutality. There are too many stories of African Americans being shot or beaten by police because they were thought to be “dangerous”, or a “threat”. The film refers to Michel Brown who was a 28-year-old African American man that was shot by a white police officer in Ferguson, Missouri. This death brought back that anger in African Americans similarly to MLKs death. Many citizens protested and fraught to get justice for Brown’s death. It’s not only in race that there are issues, there are so many horrific events that happen in America that are big problems. We see clips in I Am Not Yore Negro of shootings in today’s society. In recent years there have been many mass shootings and this is another terrible issue that needs to stop. This is an issue that affects all races, it is something that everyone can stand together to stop. It shouldn’t even matter what race these issues affect, every citizen should fight for every issue that affects any of their fellow citizens. 

I believe everyone should listen to Baldwin and hear his views on the world. These views and the problems talked about are the ones that affect everyone and America as a whole. Baldwin was alive during the Civil Rights movement and when many racial issues were at their worst. His word is very reliable and should make us want to listen to his experiences and feel his emotion through the stories. By using Baldwin’s words and sharing some of the important events surrounding race, the film makes the viewers truly understand how bad inequality was In America and how it still affects us. We need to stand up for the problems in our country. These issues are the only ones that we can fix. People aren’t going to fight our battles for us, we have to win them and make a change. 

“This is not the land of the free”

I Am Not Your Negro is an inspirational documentary created by Raoul Peck. In 1979 James Baldwin started writing a book about race in American society through the story of three of his friends who were assassinated. Sadly Baldwin passed away with only 30 pages finished. Years later Raoul decided to finish Baldwin’s story with old materials from Baldwin and it was narrated by Samuel L Jackson. This documentary shows how furious Baldwin was at the inequality in the nation. Peck took Baldwin’s words and thoughts and used them to show everyone how inequality never went away. He wants people to get angry about these issues so they will finally go away.

As you can see in the film, inequality and racism was a huge problem in the mid to late 1900’s. Baldwin wanted America to understand how greatly affected this country was by these issues. Baldwin showed these problems in the documentary by sharing the stories of the deaths of his three friends. These deaths were big turning points for the American people. His three friends were civil rights activists and were all killed for standing up for what they believed in. His friends were Medgar Evers, Malcolm X, and Martin Luther King Jr. It is very sad that all three of these men died due to forces that they were trying to change. It was scary for many people to see these activists being picked off one by one, standing up for their rights. The first to be killed was Medgar Evers when who was shot in the driveway of his own home. Medgar’s death was very hard for Baldwin considering that it was the first of his friends to be killed. Two years later Malcolm X was assassinated while speaking at his rally in New York. Malcolm was a very influential speaker and his death was also very scary for America. Martin Luther King Jr’s death, three years later, was the last of Baldwin’s friends. King was shot standing on the balcony of his own home. These deaths were not taken lightly by citizens, especially after MLK died. King was one of the most well known civil rights activists and he impacted people of all races. His death was the one that broke the nation and brought anger out of the African American people. As you can see in the film this anger caused many riots, rallies, and protests to break out. People were standing up for their rights and fighting for justice more than they ever had before. Baldwin telling the stories about his experiences living through the deaths of his friends is meant to convey fear. He wants people to remember the sadness in the civil rights movement so people will want to help to make change. These leaders and the work they did, will never be forgotten. Americans will learn the significant impact these activists made for many years. The goal of the civil rights movement was to stop segregation, sadly this never happened. 

Peck shows clips of violence and inequality in his film suggesting that it never went away. You can see that there has never been a time where violence due to racism and injustice has been resolved. Peck shared a clip from the 1990’s of Rodney King being brutally beaten by police officers on the side of the road after being pulled over for driving under the influence. In this clip, you can see that Rodney was helpless and had no chance against the multiple police officers. This beating was unjust and uncalled for, Rodney did not deserve to be treated so inhumanely. I believe that Raul Peck chose to show this footage of Rodney getting beat up to make viewers emotional and angry. By making the viewers feel this way, the claim Peck is trying to make becomes stronger and more convincing. To show that we still have these issues, Peck chooses to share the story of Micheal Brown. Michael was a 28-year-old African American man that was shot by a white police officer in Ferguson, Missouri. This was the death that really brought back the anger in African Americans. There were many protests seeking justice for Brown’s death similar to when MLK was killed. Besides inequality, there are many other issues in America. We see clips in I Am Not Yore Negro of shootings in today’s society. In recent years there have been many mass shootings, this is another horrendous problem that needs to stop. This is an issue that affects all races and can motivate people to stand together to stop it. It shouldn’t matter what race these issues affect. Every citizen should come together to fight for what they believe in. 

 Raul Peck took Baldwin’s thoughts and arguments from the time when he was alive and related them to today, showing that all these problems were never resolved. People are always being treated differently depending on their race and it will sadly take many more years to change. In I Am Not Your Negro there is a clip showing Baldwin stating that “this is not the land of the free”. This statement sounds very true in society right now. If we were in a truly free country, there would be no mention of racial inequality. Many African American citizens are still victims of police brutality. There are too many stories of African Americans being shot or beaten by police because they were thought to be “dangerous”, or a “threat”. All the issues mentioned in the film don’t just affect certain Americans, they affect the whole country. Baldwin was alive during the civil rights movement when many racial issues were at there worst. His words are very reliable and should make us want to listen to his experiences and feel his emotion through his wisdom and stories. These issues are only ones that we can fix. Hopefully, as people view this documentary, Peck’s message he is illustrating will influence the viewers to make a change.  

Research for the paper

Social medias impact on young adults

• How does it impact their mental health?
• Impact them in school?
• Families?
• Friends?
• Different negative impacts
• Are there positive impacts?
• Cyberbullying 
• Market things towards young kids 
• A lot of scary things are shown like shootings are publicized and makes kids fearful 
• Youtube there is a lot of negative stuff 
• Should be limited to amount of time used 
• Not all are healthy environment 

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/1359104518775154

• “Thematic analysis suggested that adolescents perceived social media as a threat to mental wellbeing”
  • Mood and anxiety disorder 
  • Cyberbullying 
  • Addicting 

Study https://www.forbes.com/sites/alicegwalton/2018/11/16/new-research-shows-just-how-bad-social-media-can-be-for-mental-health/#532db97c7af4

Paper proposal

I want to research social media’s effect on young adults. This topic is very important for today’s society of young adults. Social media has become very addicting and has many negative effects on people. I am interested in looking at the positive and negative effects it has but I am mainly arguing the negative side to it. I personally use social media a lot know it is not good but it is something that if you don’t use it you feel like you are missing out. I want to know more about how it affects me personally. I want to know why social media is so addictive and what these effects it has on you will lead to in your future. 

There are many platforms of social media and they all have different effects on people. Some of the effects social media has on people can be very serious. People need to understand the risk of being addicted to social media and the negative effects it has on young adults. Seeing pictures on some of these platforms can lower people’s self-esteem by comparing themselves to what they see which can eventually make them depressed. There are many other issues it causes but this is a very important one. I really want to look at the role social media plays on our Mental Health. Social media is very addicting and will leave negative effects on young adults and their mental health.

First draft

Social Media’s Effect on Mental Health 

There are multiple platforms of social media, all with similar effects on people. There is instagram, snapchat, facebook, and many more. All of these platforms are highly addicting. This addiction can have serious effects on your mental health and way of life. Social media is mainly marketed towards young adults whose brains are still growing which causes a big effect on them. Since I am a young adult myself and use social media I am very curious of the effects it has on me personally. Being a young adult I can first hand abide to how addicting media is and I can see how your mental health can truly be at risk from it. There are many other people that were also curious in this idea. Most of these researchers believe along with me that, Social media is bad for you mental health and you can suffer serious consequences from it.

Bullying has been a problem in society for as long as people have been alive. It wasn’t until there was technology and social media that cyberbullying became a big problem. Cyberbullying is a way of bullying over social media and in some cases you don’t even know who your bully is. In The Journal Of School Violence there were three studies I focused on about cyberbullying. All three studies concluded that certain “venues” attract Cyberbullying. In Study 1 is suggested that “common venues of cyberbullying have likely shifted to social media”(Cyberbullying Via Social Media). Social media platforms sadly make it easy to cyberbully people. You don’t have to see anyone face to face and you are not scared to say anything to them. Also with social media you can make fake accounts which makes it easier to bully someone without them knowing who it is. In Study 2 it concluded that, “cyber-aggressive comments directed toward random people known only online were seen the most frequently and seen as the most acceptable”(Cyberbullying Via Social Media). When you don’t know the person you are bullying, you are less likely to feel bad because you know nothing about the person which makes it feel more acceptable to you to hurt them. Cyberbullying causes a lot of harm to people and especially those of younger age. You have social media at you fingertips and have access to it 24/7. In an article on FindLaw.com, it emphasizes that, “With around-the-clock access to social media and the Internet, victims often feel as if there is no escape from cyberbullying”(findlaw.com). Even when you are home, which is most peoples safe place, you can’t escape social media. If you have technology you always can be exposed to bullying. It is dangerous if you feel like you can’t escape it, and it can lead to very harmful things. This form of bullying can and most likely will lead to depression and many mental health problems. 

Depression is one of the most serious side effects of social media. There are so many causes that go into feeling depressed from social media. When you are scrolling through pictures of other people you can’t help but compare yourself to them and wish you had similar characteristics. In a study done by NCBI they surveyed many young adults about social media use and depression. The study showed that, “individuals in the highest quartiles of SM site visits per week and those with a higher global frequency score had significantly increased odds of depression”(NCBI). This proves that when you get addicted to social media you are more likely to develop depression. The way to fix this is using social media less. If you try to fix your addiction to social media then you will more likely not be depressed from it. On most social media platforms you see pictures of people and their amazing lives. Most of these people are fake and putting these pictures out there to make it look like they have an amazing life. When someone sees these pictures they can’t help but want the life they are seeing and they compare themselves to what they see. This can easily make someone depressed and make them try to change their appearance to match the pictures they see. Another way to become depressed from social media is having a fear of missing out. When people are posting on social media, they usually post what they are doing and who they are with. There are also many news accounts that post the latest of what’s going on in society. Young adults are addicted to checking their media feed out of fear that they will miss something. If you see your friends posting a picture without you it will be sad and not want to miss out so you keep checking media to see more. Also most young adults don’t watch the news or read the paper so they rely on social media to keep them updated on society. People like to know what’s going on in the world around them at all times, especially in the media and about celebrities. Social media is the key place to find out what is going on with the latest trends and the gossip in pop culture. Young adults crave this drama and to know what’s in and what trends they should follow. By wanting to be in the know at all times, it leads to constant checking on your media accounts. An article by The Care Center Of Mental Health stated that, “Always on’ communication technology can cause feelings of anxiety, loneliness and inadequacy through highlighting these activities, compelling users to stay continually engaged and up to date due to fear of not being involved”(Care Center For Mental Health ). These feelings are ones that will surely lead to depression and a sad life all because of the media.

Although many believe that social media is very bad for your health, there are few people that believe otherwise. Some believe that social media can actually be good for your mental health. In an article In the Washington Post they list five reasons why social media can be good for teens. The first way that is shared is that “it lets them do good”. Social media exposes you to what is going on around the world. This article says that, “Kids realize they have a voice they didn’t have before and are doing everything from crowdfunding social justice projects to anonymously tweeting positive thoughts”(Washington Post). Even though this is a very good thing, not all social media users do this good by being on a platform. As I mentioned before it is also dangerous being informed with what is going on in the world around you. Knowing that everything you need to know is on social media will make you go on it even more and get addicted which leads to depression and anxiety. The next reason listed is that it strengthens friendships. It suggests that in some studies it listed,they “show that social media helps teenagers make friends and keep them”. Even though you may be able to make many friends on social media it isn’t good to rely solely on that. It is good to make real life connections with people not just over a screen. Also if you have friends on social media it is easier for them to bully you. Cyberbullying between the friends you have on media is very likely to happen. To prevent this make friends in the real world not online. The third reason given that social media is good is, it “offered a sense of belonging”. Feeling like you belong based on social media use is not good. This article states that, “They report feeling less isolated and have become more socially adept, partly because of an increase in technology use”. Increased use in technology should not be a good thing. I mentioned before how increased use of social media and that by being on it all the time causes depression. This is the same argument I made against the fact that it lets you do good. You shouldn’t need to be on social media to belong. You should go outside and have human contact to feel like you belong, possibly with your friends or family. The fourth reason this article states that these platforms could possibly be good is that it can help people express themselves. People have a variety of different talents and being on social media supposedly makes it easier to share these and express themselves. The Article in the washington post believes that “Digital technology allows kids to share their work with a wider audience”. Although this statement is true there is also a negative side to sharing your work on social media. There may be some people that lie your work and may make positive comments on it, but that doesnt stop the critiques. There are many cruel people in the world and they are all over social media. Many people may give your work negative comments and cyberbully you because you expressed yourself online. This isn’t something anyone wants to go through so it is better to express yourself in other ways that isn’t social media. Lastly, it is thought that social media can provide support. This argument against this statement is similar to the previous one. If you post about a problem you are having you will most likely get some mean and cruel feedback that you don’t want. The Washington Post reports that, “Suicidal teens can even get immediate access to quality support online”. If there is a suicidal teen trying to get support on social media and they get a mean comment or come across something hurtful, this will most likely make their condition worse. Overall I found with his counterclaim the facts against social media outways the ones for it. 

In conclusion, social media is not good for young adult Mental Health. As you can see there are many negative side effects of being addicted to social media, which many young adults are. Social media is a center for cyberbullying, depression, anxiety, there are many more effects it has that are not good for you. Even just using social media last will greatly improve your life. You don’t need to completely cut it out of your life but people should really start to try to reduce it. In an article from Forbes they talked about a study from the University of Pennsylvania, young adults reduced their use of social media by 10 minutes per day. The results were as expected, As the researchers expected, people who limited their social media use to 30 minutes felt significantly better after the three-week period, reporting reduced depression and loneliness, especially those who came into the study with higher levels of depression” (Forbes). People need to be more aware of these affects and start to learn about what social media is doing to their body. By doing this I believe everyone will have a better and happier life. 

Final draft

Social Media’s Effect on Mental Health 

There are multiple platforms of social media, all with similar effects on people. There is Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook, and many more. Social media is very unique and addicting. There are many consequences that stem from using it but at the same time, it is so hard to stop using. People know the negative effects it can have on them but it’s too hard to just stop using it. This addiction can have serious effects on a person’s mental health and way of life. Social media is mainly marketed towards young adults whose brains are still growing, As a result, the media has a greater effect on them. Since I am a young adult and use social media I am very curious about the effects it has on me. Being a young adult, I can confirm first hand as to how addicting social media is and I can see how one’s mental health can truly be at risk from it. Social media causes people to suffer from cyberbullying, loneliness, depression and much more, therefore, it is not good for one’s mental health. These consequences are unique to social media. It’s not just normal bullying that stems from social media, it’s specifically cyberbullying. People say things online to others that they would never say in person and the easiest way to do this is over social media. Loneliness and depression from social media is rooted in seeing other pictures online. Many pictures that people can see on social media cause many different reactions which will lead to these psychological effects. Social media’s grasp is difficult to let go of due to its unique nature and the way it is engineered to be addictive. 

Bullying has been a problem in society for as long as people have been alive. It wasn’t until technology and social media became so popular that cyberbullying developed into a major issue. Cyberbullying is a form of bullying that takes place on social media. In many cases, people don’t even know who the bully is. In The Journal Of School Violence, there were three studies I focused on about cyberbullying. All three studies concluded that certain “venues” attract Cyberbullying. In the first study, it is suggested that “common venues of cyberbullying have likely shifted to social media”(Cyberbullying Via Social Media). Social media platforms sadly make it easy to cyberbully people. A bully does not have to confront anyone face to face, therefore, they are not afraid to say anything to them. On social media, people can make fake accounts which makes it easier to bully someone without them knowing who it is. In Study 2 it concluded that “cyber-aggressive comments directed toward random people known only online were seen the most frequently and seen as the most acceptable”(Cyberbullying Via Social Media). When you don’t know the person you are bullying, you are less likely to feel bad because you know nothing about the person, which makes it feel more acceptable to hurt them. Cyberbullying causes a lot of harm to people, especially those of younger ages. Social media is always at your fingertips and people can go on it anytime they want. In an article on FindLaw.com, it emphasizes that “With around-the-clock access to social media and the Internet, victims often feel as if there is no escape from cyberbullying”(findlaw.com). Even when people are home, which is a safe place for most, they can’t escape social media. If people have technology they are always at risk of being exposed to all types of bullying, which can be dangerous if people feel there is no escaping it. This form of bullying can, and most likely will, lead to depression and many mental health problems. 

Depression is one of the most serious side effects of social media. There are many factors that play a role in causing depression from social media. When you are scrolling through pictures of other people you can’t help but compare yourself to them and wish you had similar characteristics. In a study done by NCBI, they surveyed many young adults about how social media and depression are connected. The study showed that “individuals in the highest quartiles of SM site visits per week and those with a higher global frequency score had significantly increased odds of depression”(NCBI). This proves that when people are addicted to social media they are more likely to develop depression. The way to fix this is by using social media less. In an article from Forbes, they talked about a study from the University of Pennsylvania where young adults reduced their use of social media by 10 minutes per day. The results were as expected, “people who limited their social media use to 30 minutes felt significantly better after the three-week period, reporting reduced depression and loneliness, especially those who came into the study with higher levels of depression”(Forbes). If people try to reduce their social media use than they will be less likely to develop depression. On most social media platforms you see pictures of people and their amazing lives. Most of these people are falsely representing their lives and putting these pictures out there to make it look like they have something more. When someone sees these pictures they can’t help but want the life they are seeing and they compare themselves to it. This can easily make someone depressed and try to change their appearance to match the pictures they see. 

While looking at other people’s social media posts people develop a fear of missing out. When people are posting on social media, they usually post what they are doing and who they are with. There are also many news accounts that post the latest of what’s going on in society. Young adults are addicted to checking their media feed out of fear that they will miss something. If people see their friends posting a picture without them it will be sad and not want to miss out, so they keep checking media to see more. Also, most young adults don’t watch the news or read the paper so they rely on social media to keep them updated on society. People like to know what’s going on in the world around them at all times, especially in the media and about celebrities. Social media is the key place to find out what is going on with the latest trends and gossip in pop culture. By wanting to be in the know at all times leads to constant checking on your media accounts. An article by The Care Center Of Mental Health stated that “Always on’ communication technology can cause feelings of anxiety, loneliness, and inadequacy through highlighting these activities, compelling users to stay continually engaged and up to date due to fear of not being involved”(Care Center For Mental Health). These feelings are ones that will surely lead to depression and a sad life all because of the media.

Although many believe that social media is very bad for your health, there are also people that believe otherwise. Some believe that social media can actually be good for your mental health. In an article in the Washington Post, they list five reasons why social media can be good for teens. The first reason is that “it lets them do good”. Social media exposes people to what is going on around the world. This article says that “Kids realize they have a voice they didn’t have before and are doing everything from crowdfunding social justice projects to anonymously tweeting positive thoughts”(Washington Post). Even though this is a very good thing, it is concerning if to much time is spend online. Kids need to learn how to get out from behind a screen and use their real voice while interacting with their peers. Social media will not help people develop good social nor will it ever take the place of making a physical connection with one’s community. Knowing that a world of information is at one’s fingertips on social media can be dangerous. This easy access makes people want to check their social media more often to be informed on the world. This phenomenon causes people to get addicted which leads to depression and anxiety. Another way social media is thought to be good, is that it can help people express themselves. People have a variety of different talents and being on social media supposedly makes it easier for people to share these talents and express themselves. The Article in the Washington Post believes that “Digital technology allows kids to share their work with a wider audience”(Washington Post). Although this statement is true, there is also a negative side to sharing your work on social media. There may be people that admire your work and share positive comments, but this does not stop the critiques from showing up. There are many cruel people in the world that are all over social media. Sharing your work online opens the door for these people to cyberbully you. This isn’t something anyone wants to go through so it is better to express yourself in other ways that don’t involve social media. Similarly, this article states that social media is thought to provide support. If someone post about a problem they are having, they will most likely get some mean and cruel feedback that they don’t want. The Washington Post reports that “Suicidal teens can even get immediate access to quality support online”(Washington Post). If a suicidal teen receives a mean comment or see something hurtful after trying to get support on social media, this will most likely make their condition worse. You never know what people are truly going through and you definitely won’t understand by seeing one of their social media posts. People shouldn’t rely on social media to personally help them or to help achieve any goals. 

No one shouldn’t have to use social media to feel like they belong and have people in your life. You may find people who understand you and you may feel like you belong in a group but you should do this in the real world and not over a computer screen. These last two statements on how social media can be good for people are very similar. One is that it strengthens friendships. It suggests that in some listed, they “show that social media helps teenagers make friends and keep them”(Washington Post). Even though people may be able to make many friends on social media it isn’t good to rely solely on that. It is good to make real-life connections with people not just over a screen. Also if people have friends on social media it is easier for them to bully you. Cyberbullying between the friends you have on media is very likely to happen. To prevent this, make friends in the real world, not online. Lastly, social media “offered a sense of belonging”. Feeling like you belong because of social media use is not good. This article states that “They report feeling less isolated and have become more socially adept, partly because of an increase in technology use”(Washington Post). Increased use in technology should not be a good thing. I mentioned before how increased use of social media and being on it all the time causes depression. People shouldn’t need to be on social media to belong. People should go outside and have human contact to feel like they belong. I believe that the negative effects of social media definitely outway the positive. 

In conclusion, social media is not good for young adult’s mental health. As previously stated there are many negative side effects of being addicted to social media. Social media is a source for cyberbullying, depression, anxiety, and many more effects that are not good for your mental health. Many people may not even realize they are addicted nor do they see the role social media is taking on their health. I personally never thought that I was experiencing anything negative from the media. Thinking back I definitely use social media too much and, if not careful, it will eventually lead to negative effects unless I reduce my use. Even a small reduction can greatly improve one’s life. With lower social media use comes more time to be with friends, enjoy outside activities and spend important time with one’s family. People don’t need to completely cut social media out of their life but rather try to strike a balance. The first step is to be more aware of the time being spent and the effects it is having on one ones mental condition. People need to be more aware of these effects and start to learn about what social media is doing to their health. By doing this I believe everyone will have a healthier and happier life. 

Work cited 

O’Reilly, Michelle, et al. “Is Social Media Bad for Mental Health and Wellbeing? Exploring the Perspectives of Adolescents.” Clinical Child Psychology and Psychiatry, vol. 23, no. 4, 2018, pp. 601–613., doi:10.1177/1359104518775154.

Walton, Alice G. “New Studies Show Just How Bad Social Media Is For Mental Health.” Forbes, Forbes Magazine, 18 Nov. 2018, www.forbes.com/sites/alicegwalton/2018/11/16/new-research-shows-just-how-bad-social-media-can-be-for-mental-health/#2b351427af44.

Knorr, Caroline. “Perspective | Five Ways Social Media Can Be Good for Teens.” The Washington Post, WP Company, 29 Mar. 2019, http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/parenting/wp/2018/03/19/5-ways-social-media-can-be-good-for-teens/.

Whittaker, Elizabeth, and Robin M. Kowalski. “Cyberbullying Via Social Media.” Journal of School Violence, vol. 14, no. 1, 2014, pp. 11–29., doi:10.1080/15388220.2014.949377.

Lin, Liu Yi, et al. “Association Between Social Media Use And Depression Among U.s. Young Adults.” Depression and Anxiety, vol. 33, no. 4, 2016, pp. 323–331., doi:10.1002/da.22466.

“Cyberbullying and Social Media.” Findlaw, education.findlaw.com/student-conduct-and-discipline/cyberbullying-and-social-media.html.

I redid my research paper and fixed what was not correct in my original paper. I went back and changed small errors and wording to make everything sound better and stronger. Along with this small editing, I fixed my in text citations and reorganized my counterclaim. Before my counterclaim was set up in two different paragraphs and I talked about the positive effects of social media and why that was not right. This sounded like I was listing things and made the strength of my argument decrease. In this new version I have the first paragraph in the counterclaim talk about how the author of the article in the Washington Post believes social media can be good for you. In my second paragraph I talk about how those reasons are not good enough and I rebut them proving my point that social media is bad for young adults mental health. Lastly I fixed my works cited page by reorganizing it based on the order I mentioned it in my writing. Along with reorganizing the work cited, I took out a citation that I never pulled a quote from and put in a new one in that I never had before.

Social Media’s Effect on Mental Health 

There are multiple platforms of social media, all with similar effects on people. There is Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook, and many more. Social media is very unique and addicting. There are many consequences that stem from using it but at the same time, it is so hard to stop using. People know the negative effects it can have on them but it’s too hard to just stop using it. This addiction can have serious effects on a person’s mental health and way of life. Social media is mainly marketed towards young adults whose brains are still growing, As a result, social media has a greater effect on them. Since I am a young adult and use social media, I am very curious about the effects it has on me. Being a young adult, I can confirm first hand as to how addicting social media is and I can see how one’s mental health can truly be at risk from it. Social media causes people to suffer from cyberbullying, loneliness, depression and much more, therefore, it is not good for one’s mental health. These consequences are unique to social media. It’s not just normal bullying that stems from social media, it’s specifically cyberbullying. People say things online to others that they would never say in person and the easiest way to do this is over social media. Loneliness and depression from social media is rooted in seeing other pictures online. Many pictures that people can see on social media cause many different reactions which will lead to these psychological effects. Social media’s grasp is difficult to let go of due to its unique nature and the way it is engineered to be addictive. 

Bullying has been a problem in society for as long as people have been alive. It wasn’t until technology and social media became so popular that cyberbullying developed into a major issue. Cyberbullying is a form of bullying that takes place on social media. In many cases, people don’t even know who the bully is. In The Journal Of School Violence, there was an article called Cyberbullying Via Social Media written by Elizabeth Whittaker and Robin M. Kowalski. In this article they reflect upon three studies they conducted to examine cyberbullying. All three studies concluded that certain “venues” attract cyberbullying. In the first study, it is suggested that “common venues of cyberbullying have likely shifted to social media”(Whittaker, Kowalski). Social media platforms sadly make it easy to cyberbully people. A bully does not have to confront anyone face to face, therefore, they are not afraid to say anything to them. On social media, people can make fake accounts which makes it easier to bully someone without the target knowing who the bully is. In the second study done by Whittaker and Kowalski, they concluded that “cyber-aggressive comments directed toward random people known only online were seen the most frequently and seen as the most acceptable”(Whittaker, Kowalski). When you don’t know the person you are bullying, you are less likely to feel bad because you know nothing about the person, which makes it feel more acceptable to hurt them. Cyberbullying causes a lot of harm to people, especially those of younger ages. Social media is always at your fingertips and people can go on it anytime they want. In the article Cyberbullying and Social Media on FindLaw.com written by a team of legal writers and editors, they emphasize that “With around-the-clock access to social media and the Internet, victims often feel as if there is no escape from cyberbullying”(Findlaw). Even when people are home, which is a safe place for most, they can’t escape social media. If people have technology they are always at risk of being exposed to all types of bullying, which can be dangerous if people feel there is no escaping it. This form of bullying can, and most likely will, lead to depression and many mental health problems. 

Depression is one of the most serious side effects of social media. There are many factors that play a role in causing depression from social media. When you are scrolling through pictures of other people you can’t help but compare yourself to them and, at some times, wish you had similar characteristics. In the National Center for Biotechnology Information, there was a study done by a team of researchers who surveyed many young adults about how social media and depression are connected. The study showed that “individuals in the highest quartiles of SM site visits per week and those with a higher global frequency score had significantly increased odds of depression”(Liu Yi Lin). This proves when people are addicted to social media they are more likely to develop depression. The way to fix this is by using social media less. In an article from Forbes called New Studies Show Just How Bad Social Media Is For Mental Health, the author, Alice G. Walton, talked about a study from the University of Pennsylvania where young adults reduced their use of social media by 10 minutes per day. The results were as expected, “people who limited their social media use to 30 minutes felt significantly better after the three-week period, reporting reduced depression and loneliness, especially those who came into the study with higher levels of depression”(Walton). This study indicated, if people try to reduce their social media use, they will be less likely to develop depression. On most social media platforms you see pictures of people and their “amazing” lives. Most of these people are falsely representing their lives and putting these pictures out there to make it look like they have something more. When someone sees these pictures they can’t help but want the life they are seeing and they compare themselves and their lives to it. This can easily make someone depressed and try to change their appearance to match the pictures they see. 

While looking at other people’s social media posts, most develop a fear of missing out. When people are posting on social media, they usually post what they are doing and who they are with. There are also many news accounts that post the latest of what’s going on in society. Young adults are addicted to checking their media feed out of fear they will miss something. If people see their friends posting a picture without them it may make them sad and feel a sense of missing out which makes them check the feeds even more. Also, most young adults don’t watch the news or read the paper, they rely on social media to keep them updated on society. People like to know what’s going on in the world around them at all times, especially teens wanting to know everything that is happening in the media. Social media is the key place to find out what is going on with the latest trends and gossip in pop culture. By wanting to be in the know at all times leads to constant checking on your media accounts. There is an article in The Care Center Of Mental Health written by Rhys Edmonds that talks about how social media causes anxiety, loneliness, and fear of missing out.  This article states that “‘Always on’ communication technology can cause feelings of anxiety, loneliness, and inadequacy through highlighting these activities, compelling users to stay continually engaged and up to date due to fear of not being involved”(Edmonds). These feelings are ones that will surely lead to depression and sadness due to social media.

Although many believe social media is bad for your health, there are also people who believe otherwise. Some believe social media can actually be good for your mental health. There is an article in the Washington Post that lists five reasons why social media can be good for teens. This article suggests that social media lets teens do good, helps express themselves, strengthen friendship, and offers a sense of belonging and support. Social media exposes people to what is going on around the world which makes these young adults want to stand up for what they don’t like. This article suggests that “Kids realize they have a voice they didn’t have before and are doing everything from crowdfunding, social justice projects, to anonymously tweeting positive thoughts”(Knorr). Most kids do not watch the news so they gather most information through social media. There are a lot of things going on in today’s news that is hard to hear or even tolerate and teens want to use their voice on social media to fix the worlds problems. People have a variety of different skills and being on social media supposedly makes it easier for people to share these skills and express themselves. Knorr believes “Digital technology allows kids to share their work with a wider audience”(Knorr). Social media is a good platform to share your knowledge and information with a bigger audience. Without social media, teens can only share their work with their peers who may be biased and give you different feedback than those who you don’t know online. There are many teens nowadays that are depressed and some that are suicidal. Knorr suggests “Suicidal teens can even get immediate access to quality support online”(Knorr). If someone is suicidal and/or depressed they might not want to tell their family or friends out of fear or embarrassment. There are many types of people on social media and using it to find support may be good to find those who are similar to you and understand what you are going through. Similarly, Knorr also suggests that “social media helps teenagers make friends and keep them”(Knorr). You can find people on social media that you can relate with thus forming a friendly connection. Social media can offer a sense of belonging to those who don’t have this feeling elsewhere.  

No one should have to use social media as a tool to feel like they belong. You may find people who understand you and you may feel like you belong in a group but you should do this in the real world and not over a computer screen. Teens should not solely rely on social media to share their voice and promote change. Kids need to learn how to get out from behind a screen and use their real voice while interacting with their peers. Social media will not help people to develop real social skills, nor will it ever take the place of making a physical connection with a person or community. Knowing that a world of information is at one’s fingertips on social media can be dangerous. This easy access makes people want to check their social media more often to be informed about the world around them. This phenomenon causes people to get addicted which leads to depression and anxiety. Sharing your work on social media may have more of a negative impact than good. There may be people that admire your work and share positive comments, but this does not stop the critiques from showing up. There are many cruel people in the world that are all over social media. Sharing your work online opens the door for these people to cyberbully you. This isn’t something anyone wants to go through, that being said it is better to express yourself in other ways that doesn’t involve social media. Young adults should not get emotional support through social media, it can be extremely dangerous. If a persons post about a problem they are having, they will most likely get some mean and cruel feedback that they don’t want. If a suicidal teen receives a mean comment or something hurtful after trying to get support on social media, this will most likely worsen their connections. You never know what people are truly going through and you definitely won’t understand by seeing one of their social media posts. People shouldn’t rely on social media to personally help them or to help achieve any goals. Many people make friends online because they believe they have found others very similar to themselves. Even though people may be able to make many friends on social media it isn’t a great source to rely on.  It is good to make real-life connections with people not just over a screen. Also if people have friends on social media it is easier for them to bully you. Cyberbullying between the friends you have on social media is very likely to happen. To prevent this, make friends in the real world, not online. Also, Feeling like you belong because of social media use is not good. Increased use in technology should not be a good thing. I mentioned before how increased use of social media and being on it all the time causes depression. People shouldn’t need to be on social media to belong. People should go outside and have human contact to feel like they belong. I believe that the negative effects of social media definitely outway the positive. 

In conclusion, social media is not good for young adult’s mental health. As previously stated there are many negative side effects of being addicted to social media. Social media is a source for cyberbullying, depression, anxiety, and many more effects that are not good for your mental health. Many people may not even realize they are addicted nor do they see the role social media is taking on their health. I personally never thought that I was experiencing anything negative from the media. Thinking back I definitely use social media too much and, if not careful, it will eventually lead to negative effects unless I reduce my use. Even a small reduction can greatly improve one’s life. With lower social media use comes more time to be with friends, enjoy outside activities and spend important time with one’s family. People don’t need to completely cut social media out of their life but rather try to strike a balance. The first step is to be more aware of the time being spent and the effects it is having on one ones mental condition. People need to be more aware of these effects and start to learn about what social media is doing to their health. By doing this I believe everyone will have a healthier and happier life. 

Work cited 

Whittaker, Elizabeth, and Robin M. Kowalski. “Cyberbullying Via Social Media.” Journal of School Violence, vol. 14, no. 1, 2014, pp. 11–29., doi:10.1080/15388220.2014.949377.

“Cyberbullying and Social Media.” Findlaw, education.findlaw.com/student-conduct-and-discipline/cyberbullying-and-social-media.html.

Lin, Liu Yi, et al. “ASSOCIATION BETWEEN SOCIAL MEDIA USE AND DEPRESSION AMONG U.S. YOUNG ADULTS.” Depression and Anxiety, U.S. National Library of Medicine, Apr. 2016, www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4853817/.

Walton, Alice G. “New Studies Show Just How Bad Social Media Is For Mental Health.” Forbes, Forbes Magazine, 18 Nov. 2018, www.forbes.com/sites/alicegwalton/2018/11/16/new-research-shows-just-how-bad-social-media-can-be-for-mental-health/#2b351427af44. 

Edmonds, Rhys. “Anxiety, Loneliness and Fear of Missing Out: The Impact of Social Media on Young People’s Mental Health.” Centre for Mental Health, www.centreformentalhealth.org.uk/blog/centre-mental-health-blog/anxiety-loneliness-fear-missing-out-social-media.

Knorr, Caroline. “Perspective | Five Ways Social Media Can Be Good for Teens.” The Washington Post, WP Company, 29 Mar. 2019, http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/parenting/wp/2018/03/19/5-ways-social-media-can-be-good-for-teens/.

These are some free-writes we did in class that helped with different writing processes.

Purpose of revising

1. The purpose of revising is to make sure what you are writing is understandable and clear. The more you read over the writing the more mistakes you will find. 
2. The first step is to read the paper over as a whole and see if there are any parts that don’t make sense and if the paper as a whole flows nicely. The next step is to go by paragraph and edit that. Find spelling and grammar errors 

My writing style

1. I have written a lot of research papers and analytical essays throughout middle school and high school. I also have written a few creative writing essays and poems for school. I do not write outside of school. 
2. While writing, I first feel frustrated coming up with the body of an essay or gathering information but when I know what I  am writing and feel confident about it, I get on a role and enjoy it for a period of time. 
3. I don’t read in my free time if I do read it’s mostly required reading for school. 

Writing about my weekend

On Saturday I slept very late and it was hard to get up because of how late I was up the night before. My mouth was very dry that morning because I was talking all night. I heard my stomach growling, I was starving it was late in the day. I texted my friends to get lunch with me and we all went. I walked outside and it was a very hot day, I could feel the sun burning my skin. As I walked into Ceaser Rodney I smelled bacon being cooked on the round grill. I walked over the grill and got an omelet. My friends waited for me as I wanted in the long line to get my food. Once it was made I took the omelet back to the table and devoured it. It tasted so good because I was so hungry. After everyone finished their food we all went back to our rooms to take naps. After everyone was awake we decided to walk to goodwill and find some cheap clothes. It was an unsuccessful trip.